This trip, costly both in time and in treasure, is now over. I’m grateful for rich time with my family (nuclear, original, extended) and for all the sights, tastes, sounds and…more tastes that made up our three weeks here. Three weeks in one city give you a chance to settle down a bit and get your bearings. I remember trying to find a place to buy a subway card (7-Eleven or any other convenience store), wandering around trying to get a new SIM card for my phone (easiest to deal with at the airport) and scrutinizing the subway map. That was just three weeks ago but I feel so much better oriented to Seoul now–that’s a nice feeling.
The trip brought up other feelings, too.
My parents are in their early eighties. Also, my aunt just passed away, making my mom the last of her generation. All this conjured a this is it feeling around many of our visits and activities. This was it. My parents probably weren’t coming back to Korea again.
This would be the last time my mom would visit her hometown and the graves of her parents and siblings.
This would be the last visit with her nieces and nephews, especially those who don’t ever travel to the US.
When we were visiting my mom’s hometown — once a literal village, now a mini suburb of Icheon that is booming due to silicon chip manufacturing — my mom ran into one of her former classmates. As they were parting, he said, “when will we see each other again?” No one said it but “you won’t” hung in the air. This was it.
The intensity of this is it was lightened a bit near the end of the trip when my mother said she’d like to come back, maybe with a tour group to see parts of Korea she wanted to visit. She had given and received all the family-related greetings. She had said the blessings and given and received gifts. Now she wanted to come back and sightsee. I’m not sure if that’s realistic or if she was also saying that to sidestep the burden of saying goodbye for good.
All my life, I have leaned on my parents to navigate visits to South Korea in general and my extended family in particular. This trip, I realized that one era is closing and another is beginning. Now it’s my turn to help my daughters connect with this part of their heritage and their Korean family.
It’s time for me to find my own way.
So poignant. I felt many of the same feelings watching my dad & aunt say goodbye on what turned out to be his last trip to Beijing. Thankful you had this time with the 3 generations together.
So glad you went on this trip – and glad you’re home too.
Beautiful images of your mom treasuring her time there. I’m so glad you got to be together for this important trip.